http://generationinstantgratification.com

http://www.newsweek.com/id/163475

The Osteens As Spiritual Midgets

http://www.nypost.com/seven/12232007/postopinion/postopbooks/eat__pray__loathe_734479.htm?&page=0

Eat. Pray. Loathe.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2007/03/05/the_secret/

Oprah's Ugly Secret

http://www.believermag.com/issues/200305/?read=article_snider

Warner Erhard and The Corporatization of Self-Help

You would have thought that when Yeshua Ben Yosef threw the money changers out of the temple that people would have gotten the point: pimping the despair of human beings and their longing for meaning into the making of easy money has to be one the worst sins of all. Nah, take however exploitive it was back then and multiply it x pi = today. And self-help has to be at the top of the list of odious offenders now.

I have had the unique opportunity to observe many gurus/self-help authors when not in front of an audience--either while we were both keynoting at conferences or backstage behind television shows, or in a variety of publishing circumstances. I thank them. What I have seen is a major part of my fire today.

They are the reason I will gladly walk five miles to help someone in need anytime, why I work all night and day for this-- through every holiday and birthday, or why I have averaged one meal every three days for the last 14+ years. I have gratefully given up everything in an act of joyful sacrifice when confronted with 1) this burning flame that requires all my pretty plans be scrapped and instead become Domino's Pizza Delivery to humanity for some delicious peace pizza pie, 2) the cries of this world that I cannot help but experience directly inside my own skin, and 3) the overwhelming number of gurus/coaches/authors/seminar leaders, etcetera, who summarily say they want to help our world, but, will not sacrifice even one day in their life to truly and freely give of themselves to anyone. I have watched these people demand a limo to drive them one block to go to lunch with their agents, ordering a table full of food, and then get up and walk over the homeless and hungry person who is laying, curled into a ball, on the street pavement. Self-help has turned into a rapacious parasitic profit machine at the time of greatest crisis in our world. This is why I live and burn. Because, have you turned on the news? People need real help. Now.

[Note: true help can never be delivered if one's focus is fixated on their own agenda and self-interest. One can only truly call things out from a place of sacrifice, and the only way to earn that right is lay down your own life out of devotion and passion for this world, and live by genuine example. I suppose that is why there are generally not too many people lining up for my job. It ain't for the faint of heart, but it simply must be done. And so I work...]  Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming = outing these tools.

The self-help authors that people flock to in search of enlightenment are generally the furthest things from the very thing they are selling. Firstly, it is alllll about them. (How exactly do you reconcile that hand-over-fist money making ethos + pinnacle of materialism first class lifestyle + giant rockstar ego... with your noble, selfless mission?) Secondly, if you really want to help someone, you would never incur their dependency. However, in our be-like-Mike culture, people fill stadiums in rapt attention and it is one protracted and frightful dance of Simon Says. Whatever the sagely person on stage says is quickly devoured, with no one noticing the broken glass it essentially is that they are swallowing by the mouthful. Down the road is generally when you notice they didn't sell you the cure, only an expansion of the disease.

It never did fail-- whenever I was speaking at these varying conferences, people would look at me in wide-eyed disbelief when, the very first thing I would say when I took the podium, was, with a large smile: I hope I never see any of you people again. It was always a moment of shocked silence, and then... they got it. (Although I have had a fantastic time watching a great many people get hopping mad by what I am saying. That is when you know you are doing your job = when you have pissed off the Buddhist monks as you speak of detachment, emotions, passion, sex, and aliveness. Hoowee, I have seen some angry ones! But they usually come back in tears, admitting they have been hiding from themselves in their practice, and that all they want is to feel fully alive and know peace... and how does one solve duality, etc. And something amazing always follows:  modern awakening, no bodhi tree required.)

I give my life for people to awaken and free themselves. It is an act of love, not a sales pitch. I want nothing from people. My desire is singular: for them to know how beautyfull they are and how delectably alive their life can be... and that suffering is not required in this life and can indeed be dissolved. That even death can be beautiful. And that the flame of peace belongs to them. The price? $Free.99. Sale price: 100% off. You can hate me for doing this if you choose, and still this love does belong to you. Every life deserves to know that they have the option to live without ugliness, bitterness, cruelty and hate... which is always and only a result of being very far from oneself. No child is born desiring to live in hell and be miserable. Everyone deserves the keys to the kingdom. To go home. What you do with it, is entirely up to you. The point is that you simply deserve to know it exists.

The greatest leaders return people to the truth in themselves, they do not seek to gather followers. However, the self-help profit machine is always actively recruiting. They will sell you a unintelligible grouping of concepts with the words divine-abundance-attraction-wisdom-ancient-seeker-enlightenment-Indigo-past lives for a membership fee. Run. They know exactly what they are doing, which is to say that they themselves are still completely tangled up, but pleased as punch to slickly sell you whatever makes them "appear" to be "enlightened." Yet personally,  if you take a closer look, they don't really have the faintest clue (and the great majority of what is being sold is arrogant or deluded or both). They know the lingo down pat, and can talk a great game; but that is about it. After all, anyone who has to call themselves spiritual... well, that should tell you everything right there.

Perhaps I was the only one who was excited when the movie The Love Guru came out, because it was at long last satirizing the ridiculousness of a subject long overdue. (If only both the film and the reality were equally funny.) Gurus are no more than spiritual drug dealers. As Chris Rock says, "They get you on the comeback." A guru will always tell you just enough to celebritize themselves and keep them sitting up on stage/on white pillows and you asking more questions about who you are and what you should do with your life. Oh, and it is $2,000 to have a private audience. (What ascetic needs that much money, anyway?? Exactly.) My favorite experience with a guru was in telling them that they could retire now, that their services were no longer needed. Oh that was good times, that day.

Then there is the breed of religious leaders preaching the grossly mistranslated idea of the "prosperity gospel," or, the empowerment seminars where they spend the 3 out of the 4 hours on "enrolling" you in their next seminar (even while they cannot remember your name), and don't forget all of the law of attraction spiritual narcissists. They are my absolute favorite. Yes, that's right... you getting a new car and a new house is a pressing spiritual matter. Forget North Korea or Afghanistan or the Darfur, really. Forget that the world is going up in flames. Let's get you a boyfriend! And consequently, don't forget it is your own fault for everything terrible that has ever happened to you. And make sure you buy the DVD set to find out how to forgive people by thanking them for beating you within an inch of your life-- because they ultimately taught you how to become more efficient, more successful, and.... make more money!!

These people bring a whole new level of meaning to the words instant gratification.

Call Out: God is not a vending machine.

Talk About It: How many self-help books do you own? How much did they help you? Remember: the best self-help book is the one that removes the need for you to ever read another crappy self-help book. Did it do that? (Yeah, I didn't think so.) Discuss what you think about the entire self-help industry. Why do you suppose they never talk about what is going on in the world... why is it always all about me, me, me?

Bonus Points> Watch the Patrick Swayze scenes in Donnie Darko. Or, watch The Fifth Element when Leelu gets to the letter "W".