http://generationinstantgratification.com

http://www.newsweek.com/id/180998

America's Long Love Affair with Anti-Anxiety Drugs

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27596308/

'Beauty Machine' Makes Everyone Pretty

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28098496/

Youthfulness A Costly American Obsession

http://cityguides.msn.com/citylife/cityarticle.aspx?cp-documentid=15819667&page=0

Birthday Bliss: Fist Fights Becoming Typical at Chuck E. Cheese's

How many homes do you go into where there are copious amounts of framed photos displayed on every given surface? There are big smiles on carefully positioned faces all huddled together in frozen moments of choreographed happiness. What would be really something, however, is if people also had a picture of the moment right before and after everyone posed for that photo... of what was actually going on in those lives.

We pose for pictures because it is the image, the picture of a life and of happiness that everyone is reaching for. The image transfixes us; whether in the staged depiction of the smiling face we gaze at in a magazine, the self-scrutiny found in the many mirrors of our homes, or, in the observation of how few people can walk by a large street window without looking at their own reflection. We are addicted to the picture, to the idea of happiness and a happy life to such an extent that our life ends up more of a strenuous effort to convince ourselves and the people around us that we really and truly ARE happy. We try very hard to look like we are not trying at all. The only catch is, we don't ever seem to realize that we are naked to everyone around us. The truth is like that: stripped and uncontrollable and gloriously obvious.

This topic is a biggie that this project will be cracking right open. I will not endeavor to go into those components in this post. I just want to dangle out a carrot... no, wait. That is exactly the real-life definition of happiness: people endlessly chasing that dangling carrot, living on the hamster wheel, hitting the crackpipe over and over and over again... all in the hopes of just one more feeling of that happiness high. And of course, it never lasts. In fact, the high gets harder to reach with time. The suck is that people build their entire life trying to get there, only to find out that "there" never actually exists. This is a problem. It turns out, positive thinking can only take you so far until it drops you off at the side of the road with a crusty sandwich and a honk goodbye.

The wedding day. Our kids first birthday. Graduation day. The supreme issue is that if you are not in the moment to begin with, then those days will pass in a blurred haze. So we stay in those marriages, keep going back to school, and having kids... thinking there must be something we can do to get that happiness-- when time and again it is like water slipping through our fingers. Fast forward to reading eighteen self-help books on the power of living in the now (which is laughable considering the part of you that reads and processes a book is the same part of you that has generally taken over your life. Good luck with that.) We have an entire culture of people living in their heads who have no idea what it is to actually be alive or awake or genuinely self-connected. Just watch anyone for ten minutes and it is quite evident. The bombshell is, that being happy for 15 seconds will never bring you the whole-word-of-happiness. This may be why this country leads the world in mental illness, as the pursuit of happiness is a recipe for intense anxiety and discontent. Notice then, that the time when bars discount their alcoholic beverages is called Happy Hour. Think about it.

How many genuinely happy people have you ever met? Would they still be happy if they lost all their money? If their wife left them for another man with porn star endowments? If they gained 50 pounds? If a hurricane destroyed their home and all of their belongings? If you remove the dogma of their belief system and put them alone on a desert island? When life peels everything back and forces you to face yourself... which cannot be avoided as an eventuality for every human being, then where is that sparkly happiness to be found?

I remember being 13 and starting my freshman year at a large high school. I ended up on the cheerleading squad because I sincerely loved believing in the players, and making them care packages before every game. As you might imagine, I was a complete outcast on my cheerleading squad-- I didn't date or party, which was solely of my own volition. They lived for the currency of popularity, which I found strange, as I was often blissfully hanging out with the janitor. The idea of cliques or of isolating anyone on campus was foreign to me. I was working 2 jobs and I loved school and learning. In short, I was the antithesis to the rest of my squad. They were out shopping, partying hard and living fast. During that football season, one of those girls happened to get scouted to model and that same year was on the cover of Elle magazine. And I do believe that was when the paradigm of happiness as a crackpipe was born. I saw how people became enamored with that image, and the distortion of power it afforded. (Note: she went on to become a severe addict, turned self-destructive and she is now in celebrity rehab with Dr. Drew.)

Living for the picture of a life is a balloon that will eventually allways pop, and loudly.

Call Out: To everyone who constantly has to take pictures everywhere you go, posing and presenting an image of yourself>>> consider what it is to live life instead of controlling it, or trying to hold onto something that is gone by the time your finger presses the button on your camera. Give the cameras away to a photography school or to some kids = their pictures are far more interesting... because they are real.

Talk About It: What is the difference between the meaning of happiness and aliveness? (Yep, I wrote a book on aliveness before you ever heard that word being used and now it is all over the place... it is especially pimped for self-help seminars. Ack.) Anyway, discuss what do you think of the word happiness and how deeply it is embedded into our entire societal structure and ideation of success?